Monday, August 12, 2013

The 'Jerry Springer' Mom

The day is neigh.


*KINDERGARTEN* 



Most parents look forward to this day like a three year old on Christmas Eve. Not me. I have been dreading this day for the last five years. It has slowly crept up on me like the worst wedgie in the world. And yes, its been a pain in my butt. Literally. 

I've been talking to a lot of friends who have already gone through the 'detaching-myself-from-my-CHILDS-hip' first day of Kindergarten process. A few said they couldn't get their child in the doors fast enough. Some claimed they bawled and even went into a slight depression for a few weeks. Others said they were happy and sad (sounds bipolar to me.......not judging here). So here we have whats called: Individual Processing. Every parent goes through first day detachment (as we will call it) differently. Kind of like every mom goes through labor differently - one experience in never the same. 

But one thing was always the same, all of my friends claimed that no matter my experience with 'first day detachment' it would all be okay. Well, maybe okay except for the minor depressed moms, BUT their's medication for that.

Miss A's school does a Coffee & Kleenex get-together after parents drop off their children on the first day. I will, without a doubt, use all the Kleenex in the room. I'll be bawling like a baby. Snot rolling out my nose. Mascara running down my face making my contacts dry and my eyes blood shot. Popping a few Xanax's in between sniffles and nose blowing. I'll look like your typical Jerry Springer/Maury superstar. But, I'm okay with that. I'm not embarrassed or ashamed that I WILL be a MESS that day. Why wouldn't I be?? My partner in crime will be away for most of the day! Surrounded by people I don't know and she doesn't know. Being influence by those outside of her home (good and bad). Having to completely defend herself. 

I know, I know. You're probably sitting their thinking, "Wow. This lady is crazy. She needs to cut that umbilical cord, NOW."

Let me explain something......

Me and my hot-mess self have reasons behind my overreacting for FDD-day......

First: As for now, and as far as I know, Miss A is my one and only child. So I'm dealing with the eldest, middle, and youngest child all at ONCE. I don't get to say 'Oh I get to go through this again', 'Maybe I can do it this way next time', 'I'm so glad this isn't my only one!', etc, etc, etc. This is it peeps! My one and only shot (of course, as far as I know) at this and Im going to let myself get wasted.......on emotions. Im going to let the crazy come out. Their will be hysterical crying. Depression. Anxiety. Mt Dew. Many phone calls to my mom & sister. Many days I stay in my pjs until 2 pm. More Mt Dew. And then I'll get myself together all by 3:30 in the afternoon to go and pick my sweetheart up. And I'll do it over and over again until I can function like a normal human being outside of my house. 

Second: Its no lie. We live in a scary world. Kids and adults bringing guns and weapons to schools. Bullying. I'm sending my child out to the wolves and hoping my job as a parent will help her survive, seriously. I am aware I can NOT control the uncontrolled. Life will go on as its suppose to and how God has it planned. Doesn't mean it isn't scary. 

Third: Education is so important to me. Will Miss A be receiving the education she needs to learn in order to thrive in her life/career? Will she have teachers/leaders that bring good influential thoughts, behavior, logical thinking, into her life? Will she know the importance of learning and how it can benefit not only herself, but others? Can I play a big enough roll in her life to be that constant aid with education? 

Day by day. Month by Month. Grade by grade. Elementary. Middle School. High School.....and on. Miss A is an amazing little girl and will do wonders in this world through education, our Father in Heaven, faith, inspiration, motivation and family. I'm excited for her to take this next adventure and steps in her life. She will be amazing. Me and my disastrous emotions, now that will take time, but I'll be alright.

Now.......back to sorting out school clothes....... 

5 comments:

  1. You are totally normal. When my last went to Kindergarten, I did the sweat-pants-on-the-couch thing for pretty much the whole year. Instead of calling it depression, I called it "sabbatical". You will feel really disoriented for awhile and then the new routine will emerge and the community will benefit from knowing your family! My kids have been a light to others, and there have been others that have been a light to them. If you need a 2 Liter and gooey Pinterest dessert, let me know!

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  2. You can support us next year :) em will be a hot mess too

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  3. I wont b a hot mess it will actually be a relief that she is at school and not at daycare!!! i have been feeling guilty and sad since she was 6 weeks old!

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  4. I ran across a blog the other day. I thought of you. It was called www.waitingforapositive.blogspot.com

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