The Tale of Two Love Birds
Once
upon
a
time.....
Eh, sorry, this is not a fairy tale. This is life. You're about to embark on an adventure with me. I like to think that Im an honest person. Honest with my doings, my speech, my thoughts. So my stories I write will be that, honest. Its all starts with a tall, handsome man and a stray woman.....
Almost seven years ago exactly, there I was, a distracted, wayward, single gal trying my best to figure out life. I was lost momentarily and wasn't sure if I'd ever figure out who I was or what God had in store for me. A close friend of mine had tried notably hard to convinced me to start attending my church again, regularly. I was hesitant and stubborn. I hadn't prayed or even stepped into a church for over two years. I wasn't proud of my life and wondered if God had felt the same about me. One morning, quickly after I awoke, I had a strange and very clear thought and feeling.......
it was time
Time to get my life straight. Time to let go of my selfish ways. Time to have God in my life again.
But would God have me back?
I set up a meeting with my Bishop. I cried almost the entire hour and a half meeting. My mascara was gone. My contacts were suction cupped to my eyes and they were almost swollen completely shut. Snot was dripping down my face like a broken faucet. I was A MESS. My Bishop placed his arms around me and told me that my Father in Heaven loved me, He was proud of me, and He's been awaiting my return. That was it, that was all I needed to hear. After that I was willing to put forth the effort needed in order for me to have good standing in my church again. No one judged me, they loved me.
Now, fast forward two weeks......
Every Sunday in my singles ward (church gathering) our Bishop would hold a Sunday Prayer in the evening. Anyone was welcomed to come. This was usually the time when new people would introduce themselves (AKA = stalking the single people). My girlfriends and I decided to go. We had heard that a new guy was there (<------insert 'tall, handsome man'). He was attending BYU and UVU getting his Bachelors degree in Neuroscience in hopes to be accepted into medical school, and BONUS......he drove a truck. I remember one of my girlfriends announcing, "He's mine! Whoever he is, I call dibs!" I couldn't help but giggle and hoped that he looked like Mutt (Shania Twains old flame), so I could laugh at my friend and encourage a fast engagement.
We arrive at church and walk into the room. As soon as I walked in my eyes met his and I instantly got butterflies. I knew he was the 'new guy' and I knew there was NO WAY my friend was calling dibs on him. Even if I had to knock her out and send her to the hospital, there was no way she was getting to him first. He stood up and introduced himself, "Hi, Im Josh Bentley.....". Bentley, that has a nice ring to it. He continued on and sat down and our prayer meeting began. It couldn't of ended fast enough. As soon as we closed in prayer and helped pick up the chairs, my girlfriend was out the door and off to meet Mr. Bentley. To try not to seem like a scavenger I slowly made my way over. Fighting off the urge to shove my friend out the door. I smiled, he smiled. He seemed shy. We all didn't talk long. He had to go home to study. As we were driving back home to our small two bedroom apartment my girlfriend wouldn't stop talking about Mr. B and how she thought he was so cute and was going to be rich, Rich, RICH one day. I let her continue talking. I knew I'd marry that man, one day.
Fast forward two weeks......
Long story short, he FINALLY asked me out on a date. I say finally like it was a century, IT WAS, or at least it felt that way. His friend convinced him to ask me out. Gosh, I know, 'convinced'. Lets poor the salt in the wound people. Come to find out he was/is terribly shy and didn't know if he had the courage to ask me out. Awwwwww! Anyways, we had a wonderful first date. We went on a triple date with his two roommates and their dates. They took us miniature golfing (which I kicked butt at) and then back to their apartment for a homemade meal that THEY had prepared (already a keeper in my book). After dinner we all decided to watch a movie. We all sat on the floor or the couch and began watching. I made it probably 20 minutes into the movie and I passed out, cold. When the movie was over, the lights flicked on and there I was, sleeping. On Josh's shoulder, drooling. So much for a first impression! Josh drove me home. I thanked him for the date and walked inside wondering if he'd ever WANT to ask me out again. Much to my surprise he called me the next day. The drool must not have stained his shirt. We continued dating and quickly fell in love.
Three months after dating, Josh popped the question Mothers Day weekend. It was perfect, beautiful. He took me down to Southern Utah to spend some time with his parents. Well, that's what the trip was suppose to be for. On Saturday morning he took me golfing with his dad (smart guy, bringing his dad along so I wouldn't be suspicious). I remember Josh totally stinking at golf that day. He is normally a VERY good golfer. Maybe he was having an off day, I thought. We then drove over to Zion's National Park where we were going to meet his grandparents for dinner at a lovely restaurant right in the heart of the Park. It was beautiful. If you haven't seen Zion's National Park, it needs to go on the bucket list. Its a nice reminder how wonderful and powerful God is. We arrived at the restaurant. His parents let us know that his grandparents haven't quite arrived yet and that we should go 'enjoy the scenery'. Okay, if you say so. Josh took my hand and led me over a bridge. I remember the water lightly flowing over the smooth rocks. The trees, ground, and shrubbery were all green and magnificent. Flowers were bloomed and lovely. We walked a little more when I noticed there was a cute little wooden gazebo all dazzled and decorated up, but no one was occupying it. I commented to Josh, "Well thats really weird and stupid and they have it all set up and no one is using it." Josh just smiled and we started walking back over to the bridge. He stopped in the middle of the bridge and was looking over the edge at the water. He turned and hugged me. I could hear and feel his heart beating....no, no, RACING. I thought either this man is about to have a heart attack or something is about to happen. Turns out, it was both. He dropped on one knee and asked me to be his wife. I didn't say anything. No words would come out. I wanted to jump up and down and scream YES! but I was paralyzed (<-----insert Josh's heart attack). Finally after about 5-10 looooooooong seconds and me mumbling 'Ummmmm......UMMMMMM....UUmmmmMMmmm',........... I said yes Ü The ring was perfect. I was shaking so bad Im surprised he was able to put it on. It fit like a glove. After lots of hugging and smooching (duh) Josh took my hand and we started walking back toward were the gazebo was. It took me a second to realize it was for US! This stupid, adorably set up random, out in the middle of nowhere gazebo, wasn't so stupid anymore. It was immaculate. We had dinner, all by ourselves, in the middle of Zion's Canyon. Dinner was amazing, but I could hardly eat any of it. I was too excited!! We finished the day off by seeing a play/musical with his parents and grandparents. When we arrived back at Josh's parents home there was a gorgeous vase filled with two dozen red roses.
We were married three months later on the 25th of August in the Salt Lake City Mormon Temple. That day was paradisiacal. I couldn't believe I was marrying the man that I loved so much. I remember being in the sealing room with most of our family and friends and only seeing him. Everything else was a blur. We spent the day with our family and friends and each other. I was so happy. He was so happy. We were beginning to begin our journey as a couple.
Fast forward five months.......
If you haven't quite figured it out, when your a Mormon on 'Mormon Time' (like I like to call it), everything happens quickly. Especially marriage and babies. The marriage had already quickly happened, now the babies. In March of 07' I peed on one of those lovely pregnancy pee sticks. It was positive. I couldn't believe it. I was going to be a mother! I was over whelmed with excitement, tears, and fears. I ran out of the bathroom and showed Josh. We hugged. We were both excited, nervous, young, and naive. I was 21 and Josh was almost 23. A few weeks go by. Im at work (I was a teller at a local Credit Union) when suddenly I feel cramping. Not knowing too much about being pregnant I passed it off as gas or upset stomach. No more than 10 minutes later it feels like Ive slightly peed myself. "Im an adult!", I think to myself, "why did I just pee in my pants!". I excuse myself to go to the restroom. When I pull my slacks down I saw something that I was never expecting. I instantly stopped breathing. Is this really happening? Tears started pouring out of my eyes faster than they can make them. Why God why?! Why are you doing this to me?! I was having a miscarriage at 7 weeks. I didn't even realize how long I have been laying on the bathroom floor at work until I heard a knock on the door. "Darci, are you okay?". It was one of my co-workers. I opened the door to the single bathroom and told her what was happening. I could hardly speak. My heart was broken. She helped me clean up my face and helped me up off the floor. She put my money drawer away, gave me my keys, and told me to go home. I drove home, crying the whole way. I didn't want to call or text Josh at school so I waited the tortuous 8 hours before he'd be home. We hadn't told anyone in both of our families that we had been trying to have a baby. We wanted to keep it a secret so if it happened it would be a surprise to everyone. Because I was stubborn and dumb I suffered alone. Josh came home from school to find his once pregnant wife crying on the couch. Eyes puffy and red. Tissues everywhere. I told him what happened. We both weren't quite sure how to react. Like I said, we were young. I never healed from the pain I felt. I continued to ask God why. WHY? Why would He allow this to happen to me? To let me go through all this pain. I thought He loved me? He did. I just didn't know it, yet.
Fast forward two months.......
Im pregnant, again. Im shocked. Im pregnant again that fast, that quickly?! I cried. I was happy, but even more nervous and cautious this time around. Was it for real this time? Would we have a healthy baby in 9 months? I told Josh. He smiled and seemed happy. I couldn't quite tell. I remember praying to my Heavenly Father, BEGGING Him to let me keep this baby. I would do ANYTHING for Him. One night, 3 weeks later (I'm now 7 weeks again), Josh and I are sitting on the couch laughing and talking lighting. Suddenly I feel the same wet sensation. Could it be? Could this be happening again? I knew in my heart before I looked down that I was in fact having my second miscarriage. I stopped talking, looked at Josh, and ran to the bathroom. I started crying, hysterically. Josh knew what was going on. He left me alone. Not quite sure what to do or say. Once again I laid there alone, very alone. Feeling that God has abandoned me. Why is he doing this to me? Why is He not allowing me to have the ONE thing I want and that He has asked of me to do. Create beings in His image. Our families still had no clue we had been trying or that I now had gone through two miscarriages. One month later Josh is accepted into A.T. Still University's medical school in Arizona. Three weeks later we pack up our little bit of belongings and head down south.
Fast forward three months......
Im late, again. No, not late to work, or church, my period. I waited and waited to take a test. I was too nervous that I WOULD be pregnant. I didn't want to know. With much encouragement from two of my close friends and co-workers I took a test. Positive. This time there were no smiles, no tears. Just an overwhelming sense of fear and premeditated heartbreak. Thats three pregnancies in less than a year. Why was I being continually tormented? I was just going to lose this baby too, right? I went about my day(s) normal as if I wasn't pregnant (no I didn't drink or smoke.....I'm 'Mormon' remember?). I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to get attached or make that motherly connection with this heavenly miracle growing inside of me. The dreaded week 7 approaches. I wait and wait. Is it going to happen? Week 7 passes. Okay is God playing around with me? 'If I'm going to miscarry just do it already!' - I yelled to Him. I couldn't believe the anger I still had towards God. I knew He loved me and I loved Him. I would do anything for Him and Him for I. Was I always going to have an overwhelmingly- insensitive bitterness towards Him? I wasn't ready to figure that out yet. Selfish is me. Week 8 arrives. Still pregnant. The weeks continue.....9, 10, 11, 12. Josh and I decide to tell our families about news. Christmas Day of 07' we tell Josh's side. The next day (December, 26th) we let my family know. Everyone is so excited, obscured to them of the agony we've been through. Week 13 arrives. I begin to tell myself that this really could be. I start believing it. Maybe. Week 14 I finally have my first doctors appointment. Due to the fact that this was my very first appointment with him, he does the full monty. He does blood work, a pap smear (oye, I hate those things), then checks out the boobs - they were good (and still perky back then). Next he pulls out this strange looking walky-talky thing with a mini microphone attached to it. "Now we're going to listen to the babies heartbeat". I hold my breath. Close my eyes. Will it be there? Will I hear it?
I hear you baby. You have a strong heartbeat. Just like your daddy. I begin breathing again. Next an ultrasound. Wait. I get to SEE my baby? He takes me back to another room. Josh takes my hand. He turns on the ultrasound machine and places that wand on my stomach. There she is. She's beautiful. Alive. Healthy. Of course we don't know she's a 'she' yet, but she's perfect. Six weeks later we have an ultrasound done to know the sex. "It's a GIRL!" the tech exclaims. A girl......wow. Not only am I having a baby, but Im have a girl. Weeks go by, of course not without trials and a rough pregnancy. Miss 'A' (as we will call her) kept trying to come out early. The L & D knew us by name. I had to go in three times to have my contractions stopped. Once because Miss A was pinching off my ureter (that hurt like hell) and at 34 weeks I was so blessed to get what is called PUPPP's syndrome (click here to read about it's wretchedness). Finally D-Day came. I was being induced because my fluid was extremely low. I was one day off my due date when Miss A arrived. The labor was wonderful, the delivery - not so much. I pushed and pushed and pushed for five, yes FIVE, hours. She was finally delivered via forceps. Out she came, perfect. Crying, but so sweetly and softly. They placed her on my chest. She instantly stopped crying. Her eyes were wide open, looking at me. It was real, she was here, with me, in my arms. Breathing, heart beating, perfect toes, beautiful eyes, tons of jet black hair. She was mine.
Fast forward four and a half years........
Hello, we're here in modern time and going through the same, but different trial. Josh and I have been trying for baby number two for a little over three years now, but this time without any pregnancies. Sometimes I cant help but feel guilty that Im struggling with this. There are many, many others who don't have any children of their own, or who have been trying for longer than we have. What gives me the right to feel like I have it hard? Over the last three years I have been doing a LOT of soul searching. Trying to make it right with my Heavenly Father again. Letting go of my anger altogether. It took me awhile, but I finally reached the point where I realized its not Gods fault, its not my fault, its nobodies 'fault'. This is the plan that God has for me and my family. Why? We each have our own individual plans that God has laid out for us. He knows each of us on a personal note. He knows are needs and wants. He knows our hearts. He's felt our heartaches and cried our tears. He has felt EVERY-SINGLE-POSSIBLE hurt and pain there ever has and ever will be. Once I realized this, I never felt alone. I knew I had at least one person who knew EXACTLY what I was going through, and He was the most important person in my life. My Father in Heaven. Why did He allow us to go through what we did and what we continue to go through? I don't know.......but I do know its for our wellbeing. Because like the love I have for my daughter, He has that same love for me. I try to raise my daughter the way that will bring her closer to her Father in Heaven. I try to let her experience things on her own, so she can learn and hopefully make right choices. She makes mistakes, but learns from them, and they can only help her grow. This is the same thing God is doing to me, to us. He see's my weaknesses and turns them into strengths. He see's my trails and knows that I will be able to bless the lives of others with my experiences.
So here we are. Living day by day. Trying to be better believers and followers of our Savior. What does God have in store for us......
Im afraid you know as best as we do.
All I know is that God has a plan.....for all of us. As simple, but hard as it is.....we need to trust FULLY in Him. If we try our best to live our lives to the utmost way that God wants us to, He will bless us. All He wants us to be is happy....if we let Him.
If you want, I invite you on our journey. Welcome.
-Darci
Three months after dating, Josh popped the question Mothers Day weekend. It was perfect, beautiful. He took me down to Southern Utah to spend some time with his parents. Well, that's what the trip was suppose to be for. On Saturday morning he took me golfing with his dad (smart guy, bringing his dad along so I wouldn't be suspicious). I remember Josh totally stinking at golf that day. He is normally a VERY good golfer. Maybe he was having an off day, I thought. We then drove over to Zion's National Park where we were going to meet his grandparents for dinner at a lovely restaurant right in the heart of the Park. It was beautiful. If you haven't seen Zion's National Park, it needs to go on the bucket list. Its a nice reminder how wonderful and powerful God is. We arrived at the restaurant. His parents let us know that his grandparents haven't quite arrived yet and that we should go 'enjoy the scenery'. Okay, if you say so. Josh took my hand and led me over a bridge. I remember the water lightly flowing over the smooth rocks. The trees, ground, and shrubbery were all green and magnificent. Flowers were bloomed and lovely. We walked a little more when I noticed there was a cute little wooden gazebo all dazzled and decorated up, but no one was occupying it. I commented to Josh, "Well thats really weird and stupid and they have it all set up and no one is using it." Josh just smiled and we started walking back over to the bridge. He stopped in the middle of the bridge and was looking over the edge at the water. He turned and hugged me. I could hear and feel his heart beating....no, no, RACING. I thought either this man is about to have a heart attack or something is about to happen. Turns out, it was both. He dropped on one knee and asked me to be his wife. I didn't say anything. No words would come out. I wanted to jump up and down and scream YES! but I was paralyzed (<-----insert Josh's heart attack). Finally after about 5-10 looooooooong seconds and me mumbling 'Ummmmm......UMMMMMM....UUmmmmMMmmm',........... I said yes Ü The ring was perfect. I was shaking so bad Im surprised he was able to put it on. It fit like a glove. After lots of hugging and smooching (duh) Josh took my hand and we started walking back toward were the gazebo was. It took me a second to realize it was for US! This stupid, adorably set up random, out in the middle of nowhere gazebo, wasn't so stupid anymore. It was immaculate. We had dinner, all by ourselves, in the middle of Zion's Canyon. Dinner was amazing, but I could hardly eat any of it. I was too excited!! We finished the day off by seeing a play/musical with his parents and grandparents. When we arrived back at Josh's parents home there was a gorgeous vase filled with two dozen red roses.
We were married three months later on the 25th of August in the Salt Lake City Mormon Temple. That day was paradisiacal. I couldn't believe I was marrying the man that I loved so much. I remember being in the sealing room with most of our family and friends and only seeing him. Everything else was a blur. We spent the day with our family and friends and each other. I was so happy. He was so happy. We were beginning to begin our journey as a couple.
Fast forward five months.......
If you haven't quite figured it out, when your a Mormon on 'Mormon Time' (like I like to call it), everything happens quickly. Especially marriage and babies. The marriage had already quickly happened, now the babies. In March of 07' I peed on one of those lovely pregnancy pee sticks. It was positive. I couldn't believe it. I was going to be a mother! I was over whelmed with excitement, tears, and fears. I ran out of the bathroom and showed Josh. We hugged. We were both excited, nervous, young, and naive. I was 21 and Josh was almost 23. A few weeks go by. Im at work (I was a teller at a local Credit Union) when suddenly I feel cramping. Not knowing too much about being pregnant I passed it off as gas or upset stomach. No more than 10 minutes later it feels like Ive slightly peed myself. "Im an adult!", I think to myself, "why did I just pee in my pants!". I excuse myself to go to the restroom. When I pull my slacks down I saw something that I was never expecting. I instantly stopped breathing. Is this really happening? Tears started pouring out of my eyes faster than they can make them. Why God why?! Why are you doing this to me?! I was having a miscarriage at 7 weeks. I didn't even realize how long I have been laying on the bathroom floor at work until I heard a knock on the door. "Darci, are you okay?". It was one of my co-workers. I opened the door to the single bathroom and told her what was happening. I could hardly speak. My heart was broken. She helped me clean up my face and helped me up off the floor. She put my money drawer away, gave me my keys, and told me to go home. I drove home, crying the whole way. I didn't want to call or text Josh at school so I waited the tortuous 8 hours before he'd be home. We hadn't told anyone in both of our families that we had been trying to have a baby. We wanted to keep it a secret so if it happened it would be a surprise to everyone. Because I was stubborn and dumb I suffered alone. Josh came home from school to find his once pregnant wife crying on the couch. Eyes puffy and red. Tissues everywhere. I told him what happened. We both weren't quite sure how to react. Like I said, we were young. I never healed from the pain I felt. I continued to ask God why. WHY? Why would He allow this to happen to me? To let me go through all this pain. I thought He loved me? He did. I just didn't know it, yet.
Fast forward two months.......
Im pregnant, again. Im shocked. Im pregnant again that fast, that quickly?! I cried. I was happy, but even more nervous and cautious this time around. Was it for real this time? Would we have a healthy baby in 9 months? I told Josh. He smiled and seemed happy. I couldn't quite tell. I remember praying to my Heavenly Father, BEGGING Him to let me keep this baby. I would do ANYTHING for Him. One night, 3 weeks later (I'm now 7 weeks again), Josh and I are sitting on the couch laughing and talking lighting. Suddenly I feel the same wet sensation. Could it be? Could this be happening again? I knew in my heart before I looked down that I was in fact having my second miscarriage. I stopped talking, looked at Josh, and ran to the bathroom. I started crying, hysterically. Josh knew what was going on. He left me alone. Not quite sure what to do or say. Once again I laid there alone, very alone. Feeling that God has abandoned me. Why is he doing this to me? Why is He not allowing me to have the ONE thing I want and that He has asked of me to do. Create beings in His image. Our families still had no clue we had been trying or that I now had gone through two miscarriages. One month later Josh is accepted into A.T. Still University's medical school in Arizona. Three weeks later we pack up our little bit of belongings and head down south.
Fast forward three months......
Im late, again. No, not late to work, or church, my period. I waited and waited to take a test. I was too nervous that I WOULD be pregnant. I didn't want to know. With much encouragement from two of my close friends and co-workers I took a test. Positive. This time there were no smiles, no tears. Just an overwhelming sense of fear and premeditated heartbreak. Thats three pregnancies in less than a year. Why was I being continually tormented? I was just going to lose this baby too, right? I went about my day(s) normal as if I wasn't pregnant (no I didn't drink or smoke.....I'm 'Mormon' remember?). I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to get attached or make that motherly connection with this heavenly miracle growing inside of me. The dreaded week 7 approaches. I wait and wait. Is it going to happen? Week 7 passes. Okay is God playing around with me? 'If I'm going to miscarry just do it already!' - I yelled to Him. I couldn't believe the anger I still had towards God. I knew He loved me and I loved Him. I would do anything for Him and Him for I. Was I always going to have an overwhelmingly- insensitive bitterness towards Him? I wasn't ready to figure that out yet. Selfish is me. Week 8 arrives. Still pregnant. The weeks continue.....9, 10, 11, 12. Josh and I decide to tell our families about news. Christmas Day of 07' we tell Josh's side. The next day (December, 26th) we let my family know. Everyone is so excited, obscured to them of the agony we've been through. Week 13 arrives. I begin to tell myself that this really could be. I start believing it. Maybe. Week 14 I finally have my first doctors appointment. Due to the fact that this was my very first appointment with him, he does the full monty. He does blood work, a pap smear (oye, I hate those things), then checks out the boobs - they were good (and still perky back then). Next he pulls out this strange looking walky-talky thing with a mini microphone attached to it. "Now we're going to listen to the babies heartbeat". I hold my breath. Close my eyes. Will it be there? Will I hear it?
Thud-dud, thud-dud, thud-dud....
I hear you baby. You have a strong heartbeat. Just like your daddy. I begin breathing again. Next an ultrasound. Wait. I get to SEE my baby? He takes me back to another room. Josh takes my hand. He turns on the ultrasound machine and places that wand on my stomach. There she is. She's beautiful. Alive. Healthy. Of course we don't know she's a 'she' yet, but she's perfect. Six weeks later we have an ultrasound done to know the sex. "It's a GIRL!" the tech exclaims. A girl......wow. Not only am I having a baby, but Im have a girl. Weeks go by, of course not without trials and a rough pregnancy. Miss 'A' (as we will call her) kept trying to come out early. The L & D knew us by name. I had to go in three times to have my contractions stopped. Once because Miss A was pinching off my ureter (that hurt like hell) and at 34 weeks I was so blessed to get what is called PUPPP's syndrome (click here to read about it's wretchedness). Finally D-Day came. I was being induced because my fluid was extremely low. I was one day off my due date when Miss A arrived. The labor was wonderful, the delivery - not so much. I pushed and pushed and pushed for five, yes FIVE, hours. She was finally delivered via forceps. Out she came, perfect. Crying, but so sweetly and softly. They placed her on my chest. She instantly stopped crying. Her eyes were wide open, looking at me. It was real, she was here, with me, in my arms. Breathing, heart beating, perfect toes, beautiful eyes, tons of jet black hair. She was mine.
Fast forward four and a half years........
Hello, we're here in modern time and going through the same, but different trial. Josh and I have been trying for baby number two for a little over three years now, but this time without any pregnancies. Sometimes I cant help but feel guilty that Im struggling with this. There are many, many others who don't have any children of their own, or who have been trying for longer than we have. What gives me the right to feel like I have it hard? Over the last three years I have been doing a LOT of soul searching. Trying to make it right with my Heavenly Father again. Letting go of my anger altogether. It took me awhile, but I finally reached the point where I realized its not Gods fault, its not my fault, its nobodies 'fault'. This is the plan that God has for me and my family. Why? We each have our own individual plans that God has laid out for us. He knows each of us on a personal note. He knows are needs and wants. He knows our hearts. He's felt our heartaches and cried our tears. He has felt EVERY-SINGLE-POSSIBLE hurt and pain there ever has and ever will be. Once I realized this, I never felt alone. I knew I had at least one person who knew EXACTLY what I was going through, and He was the most important person in my life. My Father in Heaven. Why did He allow us to go through what we did and what we continue to go through? I don't know.......but I do know its for our wellbeing. Because like the love I have for my daughter, He has that same love for me. I try to raise my daughter the way that will bring her closer to her Father in Heaven. I try to let her experience things on her own, so she can learn and hopefully make right choices. She makes mistakes, but learns from them, and they can only help her grow. This is the same thing God is doing to me, to us. He see's my weaknesses and turns them into strengths. He see's my trails and knows that I will be able to bless the lives of others with my experiences.
So here we are. Living day by day. Trying to be better believers and followers of our Savior. What does God have in store for us......
Im afraid you know as best as we do.
All I know is that God has a plan.....for all of us. As simple, but hard as it is.....we need to trust FULLY in Him. If we try our best to live our lives to the utmost way that God wants us to, He will bless us. All He wants us to be is happy....if we let Him.
If you want, I invite you on our journey. Welcome.
-Darci
Ah! You make me cry!! I love you Darcy!! I know it sounds weird but I remember those days in Spanish class like it were yesterday! I wish you the very,very best.
ReplyDeleteWhat a heartfelt story Darci, thank you for sharing it. You are a beautiful, loving mother to little A and are truly blessed to have a kind loving husband! Cherish every moment with both of them! Love you!!
ReplyDeleteI think it's great that you have a place like this to share your story. I'm sure it will be a great help to those currently experiencing the same thing. I was married 10 years before I got pregnant. I know, all too well, the heartbreak of infertility. I have only had one miscarriage though. You have such a great attitude, so you are miles ahead of where I was at your age. Good luck with whatever decisions you make. I look forward to following along with your journey. :)
ReplyDeleteWow, Darci. What an incredible and painful journey. I had no idea that you have been going through this struggle. I can't even imagine. Your story has touched my heart. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. You are so strong. I'm amazed by you.
ReplyDelete