You are not alone....

This morning as I was dropping Miss A off for school, I became lost in thought (this doesn't happen very often, so I was intriged). I helped Miss A out of the car and assisted her in getting her backpack on. I watched as she ran into the building, along with many other children. This is nothing new. Its a five-day-a-week process. But for some reason, this morning, I paid more attention to my surroundings. I loved watching her run into school. Watching her cute little feet pitter patter on the wet ground and her large backpack bounce opposite to her body movement. Gazing at her semi-wet pulled back pony tail sway. Realizing just how small she was compared to those around her. She's a little body (full of wonder), in this big, huge world. As first, it made me anxious. Then, it made me so proud. This little body, with her zebra stripped backpack, could one day change the world. If anything less, influence it. I was overwhelmed as to how much I loved being her mommy, and how extremely blessed I am.

Now I say this all the time, but I can't even express the gratitude I feel towards a loving Heavenly Father to allow me to be a mom. I never realized just how fortunate I would be to be able to have the title of mom. 

All of this pondering this morning got me thinking, how many couples out there are experiencing the lack of parenthood due to infertility? I started feeling sadness. Lots of it. Many emotions overcame me. Many of them I have felt myself, and some of them I will never experience.

I have moments when I feel very guilty. Guilty in the sense that, even though we are struggling with infertility, we do have a child. And there are many wonderful people in the world who are unable (for whatever reasons) to bear children. It burdens me with the thought that they will never experience all of the emotions that come with parenthood.

My chest is tight as I type.........

Breathe........

Then my thoughts turned to a conversation that I had with a fertility doctor. As my husband and I sat in his office, he explained some interesting facts to us. First off, he made us feel that WE ('we' meaning those struggling with infertility) are, in fact, the 'norm'. And those who do not struggle with infertility are, indeed, the 'abnormal'. I was a little puzzled. It seems as though there are more people WITH children, rather than those WITHOUT children. So how were we the 'norm'?

*According to the CDC 10% of women (aged 15-44) have difficulty getting/or staying pregnant. That might not seem like a high number, but that is 6.1 million women!

And no, not all infertility problems are due to women:
*1/3 of infertility cases are due to female issues
*1/3 of infertility cases are due to male issues
*The other 1/3 is due to male/female shared issues and other unexplained problems

*Up to 75% of women have self-aborted pregnancies before the women even knows she was pregnant. So yes, those who claim to have never had a miscarriage very well could have experienced at least one during there reproductive stage.

*One in eight American couples will experience infertility and 1.1 million women will undergo treatment(s) this year.

The doctor went on and on with more statistics. I began feeling that I was no longer alone. Struggling with infertility can seem like a very 'in the closet' issue. Although, yes, it is indeed a very private matter, you shouldn't feel that you need to bare the burden alone. Because you are NOT alone.

I was very surprised at the responses I receive after I started blogging. I had many women come to me (in person and via the internet) and tell me their stories of infertility, and most of these women had more than 2+ children (conceived naturally)! Needless to say, I was very surprised. I applauded these women for coming forward and talking to me. I was so overwhelmed with gratitude towards them and thank them for helping me feel, as though I was indeed, not alone. My eyes were opened up to a whole new world. I became even more aware of those around me and their possible struggles.

So, I write this post to YOU. Yes, YOU! The one reading this who wonders if a child is in their future. If they will ever receive a positive pregnancy test, or wear maternity clothes. To the man who wants nothing more than to hold his son or daughter in his hands and give them his last name. To the wanna-be father and mother who would give up anything to have a child of there own. To paint a nursery. To pick out a 'going home from the hospital' outfit. To research what diapers are the best and what diaper rash cream has the best reviews. To be able to purchase a crib and put it together. To be able to experience the unexplainable emotions of labor and the birth. To hold a birth certificate in their hands. You, who imagines late nights rocking your little one in the chair that's been put together for over a year. The next time you sit there, take a deep breath, its okay to cry, to imagine, to be angry and confused. You are not alone.

Don't be afraid to speak out. I know personally that it can be difficult to talk to someone. Josh and I hide it from our family and friends. And the more people asked when we would have child or when we would be giving Miss A a sibling, the more and more it hurt. Infertility IS a very private matter, but it doesn't have to be a secret. It can eat you up inside. Do not hold it in. You will begin to see (like I did) that you are not the only one. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Something that I have started looking into is making infertility a known issue. Hoping one day that it will no longer be an 'in the closet issue', but indeed be a very open topic. I found this article on NBC news titled 'Struggling with infertility in silence' (click here to read the article). It talks about how infertility needs the kinds of awareness effort that brought cancer out of the shadows decades ago.

"Breast cancer has its pink ribbon. AIDS has its walks, multiple sclerosis its bike-a-thins."

We need a ribbon. We need our walks, run, and bike-a-thins. We need to have money raised. We need more and more research. We need to have awareness efforts just as much as AIDS and cancer does. No, infertility is not cancer, but it is indeed debilitating.

To the person(s) reading this who are struggling like we are. We love you! We feel your emotions and your pain. We are here for you, a well as many other couples. We applaud your courage and will help wipe your tears. Don't feel alone. Don't be afraid to talk. Make yourself aware. Do your research and take action. Humble yourself enough to fall to your knees in prayer. If there is anyone out there who understands struggles, it would be our Savior. You're always in my prayers!

Much love,
        Darci

Who says gluten-free has to be boring?

Since having to go GF back in January I've learned a few things about taste. Most GF products still taste great and similar to their non-GF predecessors, but there are some products that pretty much taste like the empty roll of toilet paper. Being new at this whole diet, I thought that was the way it was gonna be and I'd just have to adapt to the change.

Oh how naive I was.....

GF can still taste great! So I'll let you in on a few of my favorite tricks and favorite GF products.

Most of my GF mixes comes from the RED MILL brand that I buy from Meijer (I'm sure others stores stock it as well). Their mixes taste great and the prices are reasonable. If you haven't figured it out yet, most things labeled 'Gluten-Free' are highly overpriced. So my goal when I go grocery shopping is trying to find the best product for the best price, and, yes, it means spending A LOT of time in the grocery store(s) - (the main reason I usually end up going solo). The Red Mill's brand has everything from pizza mix (which can also be used to make cinnamon rolls) to cornbread mix to pancake mix. Yesterday for dinner I made a GF stuffed crust pan pizza. Amazingly delicious doesn't quite express the yumminess we devoured. I had many friends ask for the recipe. So I will share my beloved pizza making skills with you Ü

It's simple really. If I can do it, so can you. You'll need the Red Mill's GF Pizza Crust mix, warm water, 2 eggs, olive oil, and a yeast packet (that comes IN the bag). That's it. Simple ingredients, right? Just follow the instructions on the side of the bag and BAM - you'll have an amazing GF pizza. The nice thing about this brand is the mix makes two 12'' pizzas or one 16'' pizza. When I make a stuffed crust pizza I usually will make a 16''.

I had some friends ask me how I stuff my crust (that kind of sounds.......dirty). ANNNNND moving on.......

The instructions say to cook the crust for 7-9 minutes BEFORE putting any sauce or toppings on the pizza. BEFORE you do this step you need to stuff your crust so it allows the cheese more time to melt. After you have the dough laid out in your pan, place your cheese all the way to the edge of the dough. I just use string cheese (mozzarella). Leave about and inch or so in-between each cheese....you'll need the room for rolling. After you've placed the cheese on the dough (I use about 6 string cheeses for a 16'') start gently rolling the dough and cheese TOWARDS the center of the crust (covering the cheese with the dough and you go). You don't need to necessarily completely cover the cheese with dough. When I did it I made sure about 3/4 of the cheese was covered. The rest will be covered by sauce and toppings. After you've rolled your cheese into the dough you can THEN cook your crust for 7-9 minutes. After the first round of cooking, take your dough out and add your sauce and toppings then place back in the oven for another 15-18 minutes.

One thing about cooking GF is the cooking process is usually different than cooking with regular wheat flour. If I could give any advice it would be to FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS! Rice flours and all the other GF flours cook differently so you need to make sure to read carefully.

Red Mill's GF Pizza Crust Mix

The before

And the after

(Looks amazingly delicious right??!?)

And here's my slice right before it was devoured in 2 seconds

It takes about an hour (maybe less) from start to finish, but it is WELL worth your time. And about $4 or so bucks for the mix, you can't beat it!

Some of my other favorite mixes are:

Red Mill's Bread Mix

One thing to note about GF breads is they are typically dryer than wheat based breads. Don't fret! Thats an easier fix than you think. I follow the recipe on the bag, but add some moisture based foods like sour cream, powdered milk, potato flakes, or yogurt. I don't ever have a specific measure for how much I do, I just eye it. If you're unsure a 1/4 of a cup should do it.

Red Mill's All Purpose Baking Flour Mix

 This stuff is the BOMB! When I first become GF I research and research and research how to make my how GF All Purpose Flour mix. Needless to say, not only was my mind overloaded, but I also became discouraged! Not only did I have to purchase MANY items to make for ONE flour mix, but it was expensive. Other GF All Purpose Flour mixes I found online and in 'hippie food store' (aka Whole Foods, Fresh Market, etc) costed more than my first born. I honestly thought I was going to starve for the rest of my life (not really, but you get the picture). One day while I was happily walking through Costco I spotted Red Mill's GF-APBF mix - and for around $8-9 bucks a bag (5 lbs) I thought I won the Powerball! You may be thinking, now Darci, that's pricey! Guess what folks, compared to others......this is a deal! Plus I trust Red Mill's brand.

Betty Crocker's GF Cookie Mix

HELLLLLLLO HEAVEN! Let me tell you something. When I was first diagnosed with Celiac Disease, my honest to heavens response (and first world problem issue) was "IM GOING TO STARVE AND NEVER EAT AGAIN, THIS IS AWFUL!!!!" I mean, think about it, how much of the food you eat has gluten in it? Just about everything! Sauces, seasonings, pastas, dressings, ice cream, drinks, and so on and so on. So when you find something like COOKIES that are GF, it feels a lot like Christmas. Betty Crocker also makes and GF Brownie mix and GF Cake (chocolate and vanilla) mix. All are amazing.

THAI Kitchen Rice Noodles

  

Think going GF means no more pasta? Think again my friend. Rice noodles is your salvation. When I first started buying GF noodles I started debating whether I was going to drop noodles and pasta off my food chain, they were pricey!! A tip for you......DO NOT purchase pastas from wheat based branded companies (ex. Barilla, Kraft, ConAgra, etc). Once they have it stamped GF the prices skyrocket. Save yourself some $$$$$$ and check out the asian section in your grocer. Most of their pastas are made from rice. Rice = GF. I picked up a box of THAI Kitchen rice noodles for a little over $2 (Meijer)! They are delicious and it makes my wallet (and husband) happy.

Gillian's GF Croutons

I LOVE croutons on my salad, so you can imagine I had another 'christmas moment' when I found these (once again at Meijer). They taste great and aren't badly priced. GF Croutons are something you CAN make on your own if you want to put the time into it.

These are just a few of my favorite GF products. Im sure there are some I'm missing, but will be happy to blog about again when I remember the rest. Living GF doesn't have to feel like the end of the world (once again, first world probs), you can make it 'easier' with the right tools and information. I'm constantly learning and researching and will be happy to help in anyway that I can!! Hope you found this blog helpful!

DARCI

"The Robe"

Sunday mornings while I get ready for 9 o'clock church I really enjoy listening to worship music on Pandora. My favorite station is LDS Hymns of Worship. They play a good variety of gospel hymns along other Sunday favorites. I think it helps set my mind on keeping the Sabbath Day holy and remembering my Savior through out the week.

As I was finishing up my makeup a song came on that really caught my attention. From the beginning I was intrigued. The music, instruments, lyrics, and beautiful angelic voice(s), made me stop what I was doing and listen. Really listen. I found myself in tears when the song was over. I usually don't cry when I listen to music, so I knew I was truly touched! The song is call 'The Robe' by Mercy River. The focus of the song is about a woman who is ill. She prays that she may be healed and made whole, but in turn tells God that if that's not what His plan is that she is fine with that too, but asks that God will wrap her in His Robe and hold her as she goes. Its a tastefully written song about such a tender moment in the lives of all Heavenly Fathers children.

The death of a loved one can be so incredibly harrowing. Heartbreaking. Grievous.

I determine I was so 'aw-struck' by this song because of its ability to make one look at death in a different light. It helped remind me that God has a plan, for me, for everyone. And yes, that plan will one day include leaving this mortal world and the people we love and returning to live with our Savior. I believe Gods plan with us doesn't stop after we leave this world.......He has far greater plans for us. He needs us to continue to do His work in the worlds above. For those who pass away, our Savior needs them. He has called them home to Heaven to continue a mission above. God understands the sorrows we go through when we don't have that physical being in our presence anymore. That is why He created the plan for all of us to come home and be together as eternal families. Life does not have to end here on earth. Wouldn't that make God merciless to not allow relationships to continue to grow and blossom after this life? For fathers and daughters, mothers and sons, grandparents and grandchildren, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc, to say a final goodbye after this life and not continue in the next life would be preposterous. God is anything but merciless.

"The Robe"

Mercy River 

Faithful woman

Reached through the crowd

And her hands, gently touched your robe

And you threw your grace and made her whole

Now my broken body

Is fading fast

And like her, Im searching through the crowds

Desperate to find you somehow

And Im reaching for that robe

I know you can make me whole

But if its not meant to be that way

If I can't stay

Then just wrap me in that robe and hold me when I go

If you call me

Home to you

Please help though's who love me understand

We are still held together by your hands

Im reaching for that robe

I know that you can make me whole

But maybe in a different way

If I can't stay

Then just wrap me in that robe and hold me when I go

Hold her when she goes (women)

Hold her when she goes (little child)

Click here to listen to "The Robe" on Grooveshark.

The 'Jerry Springer' Mom

The day is neigh.

*KINDERGARTEN* 

Most parents look forward to this day like a three year old on Christmas Eve. Not me. I have been dreading this day for the last five years. It has slowly crept up on me like the worst wedgie in the world. And yes, its been a pain in my butt. Literally. 

I've been talking to a lot of friends who have already gone through the 'detaching-myself-from-my-CHILDS-hip' first day of Kindergarten process. A few said they couldn't get their child in the doors fast enough. Some claimed they bawled and even went into a slight depression for a few weeks. Others said they were happy and sad (sounds bipolar to me.......not judging here). So here we have whats called: Individual Processing. Every parent goes through first day detachment (as we will call it) differently. Kind of like every mom goes through labor differently - one experience in never the same. 

But one thing was always the same, all of my friends claimed that no matter my experience with 'first day detachment' it would all be okay. Well, maybe okay except for the minor depressed moms, BUT their's medication for that.

Miss A's school does a Coffee & Kleenex get-together after parents drop off their children on the first day. I will, without a doubt, use all the Kleenex in the room. I'll be bawling like a baby. Snot rolling out my nose. Mascara running down my face making my contacts dry and my eyes blood shot. Popping a few Xanax's in between sniffles and nose blowing. I'll look like your typical Jerry Springer/Maury superstar. But, I'm okay with that. I'm not embarrassed or ashamed that I WILL be a MESS that day. Why wouldn't I be?? My partner in crime will be away for most of the day! Surrounded by people I don't know and she doesn't know. Being influence by those outside of her home (good and bad). Having to completely defend herself. 

I know, I know. You're probably sitting their thinking, "Wow. This lady is crazy. She needs to cut that umbilical cord, NOW."

Let me explain something......

Me and my hot-mess self have reasons behind my overreacting for FDD-day......

First: As for now, and as far as I know, Miss A is my one and only child. So I'm dealing with the eldest, middle, and youngest child all at ONCE. I don't get to say 'Oh I get to go through this again', 'Maybe I can do it this way next time', 'I'm so glad this isn't my only one!', etc, etc, etc. This is it peeps! My one and only shot (of course, as far as I know) at this and Im going to let myself get wasted.......on emotions. Im going to let the crazy come out. Their will be hysterical crying. Depression. Anxiety. Mt Dew. Many phone calls to my mom & sister. Many days I stay in my pjs until 2 pm. More Mt Dew. And then I'll get myself together all by 3:30 in the afternoon to go and pick my sweetheart up. And I'll do it over and over again until I can function like a normal human being outside of my house. 

Second: Its no lie. We live in a scary world. Kids and adults bringing guns and weapons to schools. Bullying. I'm sending my child out to the wolves and hoping my job as a parent will help her survive, seriously. I am aware I can NOT control the uncontrolled. Life will go on as its suppose to and how God has it planned. Doesn't mean it isn't scary. 

Third: Education is so important to me. Will Miss A be receiving the education she needs to learn in order to thrive in her life/career? Will she have teachers/leaders that bring good influential thoughts, behavior, logical thinking, into her life? Will she know the importance of learning and how it can benefit not only herself, but others? Can I play a big enough roll in her life to be that constant aid with education? 

Day by day. Month by Month. Grade by grade. Elementary. Middle School. High School.....and on. Miss A is an amazing little girl and will do wonders in this world through education, our Father in Heaven, faith, inspiration, motivation and family. I'm excited for her to take this next adventure and steps in her life. She will be amazing. Me and my disastrous emotions, now that will take time, but I'll be alright.

Now.......back to sorting out school clothes....... 

Uplifting Talks About Coping with Infertility

I apologize for my big delay in posting my readers stories. I promise I have not forgotten about you and will get your stories posted!

As I lay in my bed this Friday night, and studying for my church lesson, I feel impressed to write this blog post. My lesson for Sunday is about sacred family relationships. Part of the lesson brings up the topic of women who are (for different reasons)  unable to marry and/or bear children. I was impressed (but not surprised) by the kind and gentle words spoken to the women specifically by our leadership. After finishing my lesson I decided I want to look more into this topic of infertility and what our leadership has said about it. Needless to say the information and articles I found only heightened my faith in my Savior.

Before I became to believe what I do today, that the Savior is in control & I must fully trust in Him, life seemed bitter and very hard to not fake happiness. When friends or family (or even at times acquaintances or strangers) would say these few simple words 'just trust in the Lord', I felt myself cringe. I didn't want to hear it. I smiled, nodded in agreement, and left feeling more lost than before. I thought I did trust the Lord. I thought He knew I believed He knew what was best for me and my family. I thought I had faith in believing this. That was it. I thought. I didn't act upon my beliefs. These thoughts were always in the back of my mind, but never once had I truly made them apart of my undying and unconditional faith and love of my understandings. I was stubborn, and was fearful. What if I had put all my trust in the Lord and I didn't receive the answer I had wanted? I wasn't ready to find out if our outlook on life was completely different.

After much conversation with my Savior about what I can do to have a humbled heart and be able to bring these walls down that I had built up so high, I felt impressed to read my Patriarticle Blessing (to see what a Patriarticle Blessing is, click here). It had been a few years since I had picked it up, but I had never forgotten the section where it talks about motherhood. Im about to share something very personal and special to me. In my blessing it states that I will be 'granted one of the most sacred blessings Heavenly Father has for His daughters', that of motherhood. That I will 'stand as a matriarch over a special and wonderful posterity'.
Here's where it always humbles me, 'You will bring sweet spirits into your home'...'they will be precious spirits'.  'They', 'spirits'....it was plural.

I had received my Patriarticle Blessing when I was 14 years of age (if we're doing the math here that was 13 years ago). My Father in Heaven knew I would always need to read and re-read those words. To have reassurance. Faith. Wisdom. Belief. This doesn't mean that day to day life isn't difficult. It doesn't mean my heart never aches for another child or that I don't have bad days where my heart feels heavy and my soul is burdened. But it does remind me that if I continue to live a faithful life and always believe and have faith in my Savior, He will bless me. In His time.

I found a few articles on my churches website (www.lds.org) specifically about infertility. Like I said above, I found myself feeling even more grateful and more faithful than before. The articles were very up lifting. I even found myself taking needed deep breaths. If you have a few minutes please read the articles below. Yes, they are mostly based for people struggling with infertility, but their basis meaning in whole is how to deal with trials and how to stay faithful. Enjoy!

Carolynn R. Spencer: Learning to Cope with Infertility (June 2012 Ensign) - I LOVE this one. She gives many references to women in the scriptures who struggled with infertility. Most stories I had never heard (or remembered) about.

Melissa Merrill: Faith and Infertility (April 2011 Ensign) - Melissa relays stories of four different couples who had/have been struggling with infertility. They're all wonderful stories. There is also a link at the beginning of the article that leads to 15 other couples stories with infertility. 

Sarah Jenkins: Trust, Patience, and Endurance: My Lessons from Infertility - I feel very attached to her article. I, too, have felt many of the same feelings and thoughts that she has. 

And just for fun.......a picture of my lovely darling on Easter.

Stories From Friends

I am so happy to say that I had some responses back from my last post request! Im a little slow with posting them - Im sorry! I was under the weather for 10 days, as well as Miss A and the hubby. So you can imagine......NOTHING got done. We are headed down to one of my favorite cities for the weekend, but when we get back I will post the first email. Im so excited - these are wonderful stories!!

If you want to write an email to me, you still can! I would LOVE to hear from you. If you're not sure what the heck Im even talking about.......read my last post Ü

See you next week!! Have a great weekend!

-DARCI

Pathways of Life & Eternal Growth

Life has funny, humbling and rude awakening ways of letting you know if you're traveling down the path that has been laid out for you. I truly believe we all have a specific path that has been laid out for us and its up to us if we choose to follow it or not. So you may ask, how do we know if we're following the right one? I don't know. Honestly. Sometimes I feel that you will feel it. In your heart. Your soul. Others may like to differ with me but I believe in total dream deja vu. I have frequently had dreams where later on in my life I recall that dream because it is happening in real life. Some may call it coincidence or even that my mind has made it up for me to believe I've 'been here before'. I don't believe that. Not for one bit. I believe its Gods simple, quiet, and reassured way of letting us know you're on the right path. Call me crazy, but that's my thought. I also believe that its through fervent prayer and having a close relationship with God that will allow you to know that you are indeed skipping down the right path.

Kind of a random way to start a post, yeah kind of. I get thoughts in my head how I need to begin and/or write in my blog and I go with it. I've learned not to fight my mind.

Many have asked why it has been so long since I have posted anything on my blog. For reasons I can not comment right now I am unable to specifically answer that question. But I can let you know that my husband, I, and Miss A have recently been through something that truly shook our inner core. Something that I never would have that would happen, did. From the beginning to the end, this situation was both miracle witnessing and completely heartbreaking at the same time. Its been torture watching my sweet Miss A go through so much pain and anguish. Seeing my husband cry. I think there was a time or two I went three plus days without showering. Sometimes Im still confused if Im grieving or depressed. I think it's a little of both.

But through all of the hurt comes a light. I can't tell you how blessed my little family is. We've had an outpouring of love from many people. My parents were able to fly out to Illinois right away and spend 10 days with us. Which was more than a blessing then they will ever know. No thank you's will ever be enough. Im so grateful for them. We had many other blessings here and there that I KNOW were gifts from my Father in Heaven. Through trials and tears come blessings and beauty. I've grown to understand this a little more. Sometimes these blessings are not see or noticed right away, and they may never be, but they are there, if YOU allow YOURSELF to see them.

Do you let yourself see the blessings?

I know that my Savior and my Heavenly Father are men of pure love. I don't even think we can even begin to understand how much love they have for us. We may have an idea, but its not completely understood or accounted for. I believe Gods pure love allows you to grow through trials, heartbreak, confusion, sadness, and everything else that hurts our inner self. I don't know if I ever would have felt so much love from my Savior had we not been through what we have recently. I don't know if I ever would have understood that when it feels like the world around you is crumbling in your hands that our Savior allows us to mold our selfs back together through his loving touch. He loves me. I know he does. He love you, too. Are we allowing ourselves to feel our Saviors love?

Think about it.

When the times comes, if it does, I would love to tell you our story. In the mean time I would love to hear yours. If you would like to share. What trials have you been through? What blessings did you witness from heartbreak? How have you felt your Saviors pure love through trials and tribulations? If you would share, I would love to hear. And I know that my readers would love to hear as well. No story is not good enough. There is ALWAYS someone out there who is going through something similar to what your are or have gone through. People feel comfort in knowing that they are not alone. After sharing my story with infertility I have many people contact me and thank me for sharing. They too have been going through the same or similar situation and felt peace in their hearts that they had someone who could relate and someone to talk to. Isn't this why we go through heartbreak and trials? If and when we do we are able to assist and help those who are in need of comfort. We are here to serve one another.

Are we serving?

If you would like to share your story please email me at darcivbentley@live.com
If you would like your story published on my blog and wish to remain anonymous please let me know. Otherwise I would like to list your first name, first letter of last name, and state of which you live.
I would like to prematurely thank you for having the courage to share your story. It isn't easy. But you may never know who's life you have changed because you decided to share. I plan on posting a story from a reader once a week if I have enough stories. If not, I will post them as soon as they come.

Have a wonderful day readers Ü